WHY SHOULD I REMAIN IN A STATE WHICH INTENTIONALLY REFUSES TO RECOGNIZE MY ABILITIES AND POTENTIAL?

i'm positive i've expressed my confusion about this before on my blog MANY times. SURVEILLANCE does NOT equal "support". i've been trying to move OUT of this state for 23 years. i even NEARLY died while in the process of it the first time. let's look at the obvious reasons for having the desire to move OUT of this state. there are NO opportunities for me here. "you have EVERYTHING you need here! i don't understand why you wanna move to new york."- amanda, a LONG time ago when she actually spoke to me back when i was living in the burnsville shithole. NONONO honey.. YOU have "everything" YOU need here. WE are NOT in the same boats with the same experiences and you don't care to recognize or empathisize from where I am coming from. the thought of how i'm wasting my time explaining myself to someone who doesn't have the mental capability to understand this just came to me again because i KNOW that i've explained this MANY times before on my blog. my family is so stupid and uncaring that they'd rather just read about me struggling than to actually SHOW they CARE by attempting to actually help me and advocate for me to get the things i need done to be TRULY happy. i don't even have my damn driver's license anymore.. but the great courage kenny has a driving program that will help me get it again! after being failed by them at least 3 times before.. i seriously doubt their so-called reputation of being considered so helpful. I'VE PAID FOR BEHIND-THE-WHEEL LESSONS LIKE THEY ADVISED ME TO DO AND THEY STILL FAILED ME. THEY'RE A JOKE OF A "REHABILITATION INSTITUTE" WHO ONLY HELPS PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY HAVE ADVOCACY. that's another reason i GAVE UP on this fucking state. they don't help me so i'm fully able to do EVERYTHING i'm FULLY CAPABLE of doing. I'M A CRAZY BITCH. I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO LOSE AND THOSE PEOPLE ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS. maybe if someone would actually help me so i have something to actually lose- I'D HAVE THE DESIRE TO LIVE HERE. my family is too fucking selfish and STUPID to realize that, if they pulled their heads outta their fucking asses- MAYBE THEY'D REALIZE THAT. "misery loves company".. WELL DICKS, NOT THIS COMPANY. THE MORE I REMAIN HERE- THE LESS I LOVE, CARE, OR EVEN WANT TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU AGAIN. you're keeping a person who is capable of SO MUCH MORE because.. what? misery loves company. don't pretend like you actually care either because if you DID "care"- YOU'D KNOW THAT I WENT THROUGH EVERY LIVING SITUATION AND I'M NOT IMPRESSED WITH THIS PARTICULAR LOCATION/STATE AT ALL. i came outta my coma in a foster group home, then i moved back to my mom's place for my senior year of high school, then went to the courage center to live in the courage residence there then they found a shithole apartment to live in at minneapolis which was an assisted living program, then my grandma and her friend carol found me another apartment which was assisted living in burnsville, then i went to an ics apartment in st. paul which i stayed at for only like a year because i signed a lease, then i finally came here. PROOF I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE HERE in this STUPID STATE. my grandma CLAIMED amanda would have me in new york.. she made me promise her that i'd wait for amanda's negligent, arrogant ass to assist me to move SAFELY to new york.. IT'S BEEN TEN FUCKING YEARS SINCE SHE DIED (i just looked at her funeral announcement that i keep on my fridge). MORE PROOF THAT MY FAMILY DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME AND IS SELFISH! if they HONESTLY don't understand why i want to move.. they're incredibly STUPID. by now.. amanda's hoping that jem is already married and has a family.. so i lost the reason of why i wanna move there. THERE ARE MORE OPPORTUNITIES THERE. YOUR STUPID ASS IS JUST DEPENDING ON SOME SHITTY EXCUSE OF A "REHABILITATION" CENTER TO DISTRACT ME MORE FROM ACTUALLY LIVING A REAL LIFE- NOT DEPENDING ONLY ON FUCKIN GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU ASSUME I'M CAPABLE OF. WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND. YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF FORCED TO DOWNGRADE YOUR FUCKING POTENTIAL AND CAPABILITY ONE DAY. WE'LL SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT.